The Sausage Factory

Resolutions

2012-01-04T14:16:00.000-05:00

In the spirit of inspiration I have decided to create a listof New Year Resolutions Chloe Sevigny (Drew Droege) style, while making them my own. If you have yet to be exposed to his hysterical take on everyone's favorite avant-garde, fashionista, indi-film actress, then you have been missing out.

I resolve to:

Only wear John Varvatos shoes that are two sizes too big…myfeet swell.

When at the gym, find suitable candidates to become mybrother husbands.

Reconsider Alfani and Aldo as designer brands.

Tweet @officialadele and ask her to be friends. Done.

Marry the night.

Question the ‘thought’ part of “It’s the thought thatcounts.”

Eat cheese after every meal, even when the meal is cheese.

Let nothing come between me and my Calvins.

Learn French, go to France, and French a boi.

Continue to wait for my signed photo of Sarah Palin in herpink power suit. Did you get my letter?

Write an essay on the Politics of Dancing.

Porn.

What do you resolve???

Inspiration

2011-12-21T21:54:00.001-05:00

I recently read a post on my new favorite blog, I Art New York. Part of the post was on the Gustav Klimt portrait of Adele Bloch-Bauer I. You can read the post here. Of course, to any art lover, this classic work is instantaneously recognizable. However, what stood out for me is that this work was the inspiration behind one of three Collectable Barbie Dolls based on famous portraits/paintings. If anyone knows me, they know that I heart Barbie, and when the people at Mattel find a way to mix my favorite gal with other loves, like art, fashion, music, movies, etc., I'm there. For me, it is a true form of inspiration. Being able to blend a cultural icon with other iconic images, people, ideas... holds a certain power that transcends media. So, in response to the image and post of Klimt's portrait, I offer up this work of art.

I Art New York, Trick.

2011-12-14T10:40:00.003-05:00

There's a new blogger on the scene and one you all must follow. With insightful views on art, culture and beauty, I Art New York is one blog read not to be missed. Just when I thought the days of blogging were over...

Nothing Left Leftovers - Thanksgiving Special

2011-11-25T11:46:00.001-05:00

It's the day after Thanksgiving and all our refrigerators are filled with yesterday's leftovers. If your family is like mine, those leftovers will sit in the fridge for ages and eventually go to waste. If there is one thing I hate, it's waste. But this year, I'm going to show you two great ways to take your Thanksgiving castaways and turn them into meals you and your family will be craving come next Holiday season.

Dish One : The Classic Turkey Sandwich
Leftovers You'll Need:
1. Bread
2. Cranberry Sauce
3. Mixed Nuts/Nature Mix
4. Salad - mixed greens
5. Turkey
6 Cheese *optional addition

We all know there are few items left behind at every holiday meal. Usually those items include remnants of bread and that well intentioned salad no one touched. Here is a great way to utilize those items so that they don't end up in the trash.

Only one slice of the bread needs to be coated.

My, that turkey is going to have a lovey rest on that bed of mixed greens.

Start out with your bread. Those holiday rolls work best for taste, but any type of bread you have left will do the job. Instead of using mayo or mustard as the base of your post-Turkey Day sandwich, spread on a layer of that leftover cranberry sauce. Remember to reserve at least a spoonful for our next dish. To add something extra special to this meal, grab a handful of those mixed nuts that didn't get polished off the night before. If you have the kind with dried cranberries already in them, you'll add an extra umph of flavor and texture. Press the nuts/nature mix down so that they cling to the cranberry sauce. This will help with spillage. Next, fetch all that cut up lettuce you have socked away in your mother's 1950's Tupperware bowl. You know, the one with the stay fresh lid. Begin layering on the leaves until you have a good amount of cushioning for the star of this dish: the turkey. Breast meat works the best as there is usually so much left of it - being the largest part of the bird - but if you are a fan of dark meat and that's all you've got, toss it on top. Make sure you get your layer of turkey as flat and even as possible. This may be more challenging if your bird was hacked to pieces, but with some care, and choice meat arrangement, you'll be just fine. Now for the finishing touches. This part is totally optional as cheese may not have been a part of your feast, but I think it's a great way to add a new element to last night's flavors. Top the sandwich off, cut in half and you're done! Simple, quick and easy way to make six leftover items disappear in an enjoyable and cost savings manner.

Fresh Sliced Turkey used for out of season preparation.

I Love Cheese, Can't You Tell?

A Classic Turkey Sandwich to rave about.

For those of you who may prefer a carb free option, or you just have so much left, here is an additional dish you can prepare using almost the same leftovers as the Classic Turkey Sandwich, minus a few ingredients. This is the best way to utilize that well intentioned, yet untouched salad from last night.

Dish Two: Turkey Salad with Cranberry, Balsamic Vinaigrette
Leftovers You'll Need:
1. Cranberry Sauce
2. Mixed Nuts/Nature Mix
3. Salad - lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, olives, etc.
4. Turkey
5. Olive Oil, Balsamic Vinegar, Salt & Pepper

For this dish, start off by adding some Balsamic Vinegar into a large mixing bowl. The amount of vinegar you use will depend on the amount of lettuce you have. You want enough to coat, but not drown the salad. Add the Olive Oil next. Remember that the best way to get your salad dressing to come together is to always start the base off with the vinegar. Here is where you want to add salt and pepper to taste. Start whisking the dressing. You'll see the liquid begin to thicken. This is when you'll want to add the leftover cranberry sauce. Continue to whisk until combined. If you feel the dressing has become too thick, you can add extra olive oil until you've reached desired consistency. Add your leftover salad into the bowl. If you have salad that included items such as tomatoes, cumbers, olives, etc., you don't need to add any additional standards. If you are working with just cut up lettuce or mixed greens, throw in your favorite add-ons to really boost this salad up. Begin to toss the salad until dressing coats. At this point you'll want to toss in the mixed nuts/nature mix and toss again. End by adding chunks of cut up turkey. I prefer white meat in my salad, but you can add dark if it is your favorite or the only meat you have left. Give the whole salad one final toss and you're done. A healthy and hearty way to to take those great Thanksgiving flavors and use them in a new, fresh dish guaranteed to be a hit.

Review

2011-09-13T23:33:00.000-04:00

I am proud to say I have written my very first professional review. It was challenging, but mainly because I wanted to do this fantastic novel justice. Blue Boy by Rakesh Satyal was an incredible read. I loved every nuance of this Lambda Award winning novel. You will too. Go here to read the review.

Ethics, Porn and Math

2011-08-23T23:42:00.002-04:00

Today I read something that really bothered me. A gay porn star who was teaching K-12 Math in FL was let go from his job and had his certification taken away becuase he was discovered to have had a gay porn past. This man has an MA in Education, why should his porn past (present and future) weigh in on his ability to teach kids? He's teaching math, not cock sucking. This really annoys me. It's along the same vein as politicians that have to resign for being normal. Tweeting pics of your junk is what guys do! Hand jobs in the men's bathroom, common place. None of that means that can't run the government. Society makes sex dirty. That is wrong. sex is not dirty (unless you like it dirty ;) ). It's part of nature. God created sex and in His words,"it is good." If Madonna taught me anything (let's be real, she taught me a lot), it was that you shouldn't be afraid of sex. I thank her for that. I also have to thank my high school crush Kristin C (yes, a girl) because she made me lose my shyness when it came to talking about sex. I remember that day in the lunchroom when she got everyone to tell her how often they masturbated. She was a powerful force.

I tweeted my anger at this nonsensical behavior from society to throw stones at people who do "sexy things". My friend Stephen who is is a hard core teacher of children (shudders) was not on my side of the table (though he is on my team). We had an insightful and respectful, dare I say meaningful conversion about this over facebook chat. We didn't yell and scream at each other or call each other names. We didn't hide behind screen names or unfriend each other because our views were different. We did what educated people do, we listened, we shared, and we learned.

Stephen found the discussion so refreshing as other internet bloggers just screamed him down for being too moral, that he thought it would be interesting to chronicle our conversion on his blog (well, tumbler. Is that a blog? I don't know, but a lot of people use it for porn, that I know for sure!). So, for your reading please, I present to you our conversion, aptly titled: ethics discussion with erotica writers. (I'm the erotica writers if you didn't know.)

Read it, comment on it, maybe learn from it.

Bxxx
follow me @briancentrone
www.briancentrone.com

New Fiction

2011-07-01T18:41:00.003-04:00

"Making the Grade" my hot new short, short story is ready and waiting to be read. Get your copy of Brief Encounters: 69 Hot Gay Shorts today. Ed. Shane Allison (Cleis Press).

July 1st is Brian Centrone Day

2011-07-01T10:56:00.000-04:00

Here is the history behind Brian Centrone Day.

It's Brian Centrone Day

OMG Everyone, July 1st was declared Brian Centrone Day by the fantastic Author Michael Thomas Ford! Read below to see why.

It's Brian Centrone Day

10000 WORDS!

We're 10% of the way there.

A huge thank-you to Brian Centrone, whose sponsorship brought us to this exciting milestone. Because he is the coolest person on Earth, Brian will be receiving the 10000-word gift bonanza consisting of a dollaraword T-shirt, a signed copy of the soon-to-be released paperback edition of my novel Full Circle, and a signed galley of my novel Changing Tides, which no one else gets to read until its official release on August 28.

Reaching the first 10000 words is terribly exciting. In fact, I think I just wet myself. Thanks to everyone who has sponsored us, blogged about us, and spread the word about us.

Most exciting of all, we're now halfway to our first $10,000 donation point. When we hit 20000 words, that first check will be delivered to the organization selected based on its work supporting writers and writing. You don't know who they are, and neither do they, but I do. And if you want to make them really, really happy, you'll help get us to 20000 words.

But right now, let's party. Today is Brian Centrone Day. Lift a drink in his honor. Cheers!

http://www.dollaraword.com/index.php/blog/comments/its_brian_centrone_day/

Hills Valley's First Fence

2011-05-07T13:28:00.007-04:00

My second one-act play, Hills Valley's First Fence, premiered April 27th, 2011 in Massillon, Ohio as part of the Bid Read events. The play was inspired by Mark Twain's The
Adventures of Tom Sawyer and deals with Twain's concept at looking back on childhood. It also concerns the relationships between children and adults. Pictures from the play can be viewed on my website by clicking the image above. Enjoy. Video of the performance is on its way.

New Fiction

2011-03-26T14:58:00.005-04:00

Read my highly literary, highly erotic short story "Boracay" in the March/April 2011 edition of THIS Literary Magazine. Reader Discretion is Advised!

Happy New Year

2010-12-31T14:05:00.003-05:00

Today I was intending to write a short piece to end the year with. But I have decided against it. I have become unsettled by something and so too distracted to formulate thoughts and words. I will offer a little something in its place.

This year has been hit and miss. I was hoping to have additional publications to bring to you all, but that didn't happen. The struggle continues to be recognized and appreciated. Finding the right place for your work is hard. Finding people who believe in your work and in you, even harder. I often wonder how many people die trying. At what point does defeat overtake determination?

I don't know. I just don't know.

Here's hoping that 2011 is a better year than 2010 - for everyone.

Happy Boxing Day

2010-12-26T12:57:00.002-05:00

Wishing everyone out there a Happy Boxing Day. I know I have been quiet, but I have been really busy writing and working. I hope to have news to share with everyone soon. Until then... Bxxx

Brian's Favorite Things

2010-12-01T21:52:00.005-05:00

To celebrate my 200th Tweet, I will be giving away some of my favorite things. If you don't follow me on twitter yet, you still have a little bit of time, but not much! You can follow me @briancentrone Start following to win!

In case you missed the discussion

2010-11-08T16:28:00.001-05:00

you can follow what happened here.

My Novel will be discussed Tomorrow

2010-11-07T17:48:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow afternoon, 3pm EST/8pm GMT Yet-to-be books will be discussing my YA Novel, Confessions of An Ordinary Boy. Those members who have signed up to be a part of the group have received a version of the novel. The group, including me, will be discussing various aspects of my yet-to-be book. The dicussion portion of this club is open to the public, so anyone interested in finding out a little bit about my novel can watch as the we discuss the book live.

Sian Cummins, author of the yet-to-be book, Fluids, created this group for writers who were caught in between a finished draft and a publishing deal.

Hope to see some of you there.

Brian xxx

Urban Cocktails : The Lesbian Within

2010-10-20T00:53:00.003-04:00

For Lizzie!

Once upon a time in a state far, far away a young, slightly heavier androgynous boy sat down to coffee and was mistaken for a lesbian. That young boy was me. To tell you the truth, at first it really bothered me that someone, a gay man actually, had perceived me to be a lesbian. In time, however, I got over it and moved on. I didn't really think about it much after those first couple of days until years latter.

While taking a trip up to Boston with a female friend of mine, we continued to get stares from people as we walked around Quincy Market. I assumed it was the FU hat I was wearing, but quickly found out otherwise. "People think we're a lesbian couple!" My friend said to me. I couldn't believe that. Why would they…and then it happened. As I passed by a mirror in Banana Republic, I saw it. There we were, a larger size girl in sporty attire and a stocky guy wearing androgynous clothing. We were indeed a lesbian couple! I couldn't believe my eyes.

I was mortified by the thought and I quickly conceived ways I could change my image. What could I do to make myself not look like a lesbian? However, I soon realized that it wasn't my job to change, but rather people's perceptions of what a lesbian looks like.

My gal pal Lizzie and I often joke about what happened to me. Because Lizzie is a bigger girl, when the two of us are together we concluded that we're a lesbian couple. We came to this idea not only because of my experience, but because Lizzie has had her own experiences with people equating large women with lesbians.

But it's not only Lizzie.

"I have to keep trying to convince my parents I'm not a lesbian," my friend Val told me on several occasions. Val, a larger set girl, and "Plain," was constantly being mislabeled as a lesbian. Sure she isn't a super model and she speaks up for women's issues, but does that have to automatically mark her as a lesbian? Then again, it's not only girls who may be less than thin. Any woman who shows an interest in women's lib is labeled a "dyke."

Is it easier to dismiss women that this society doesn't consider "ideal" by casting them away to the island of Lesbos? If a girl doesn't bring a boy home, why do her parents have to "suspect" something? And better yet, why does a heavyset boy with curly hair and soft features have to be mistaken for a lesbian?!! I believe society has set up this idea of "lesbian": Big, butch, unattractive, man hater. Anyone who remotely fits that description is automatically written off as a lezzie. This is a sad thing. We should live in a world where we embrace uniqueness and give women the right to possess masculine qualities without being labeled a lesbian. If we did this, then maybe, just maybe I could stop being mistaken for a lesbian and start being asked out on more dates. And if that happened I'd have something more interesting to write about. But I digress.

What really needs to be examined in the situation of stereotyping is its conception. As a culture we identify with visuals. Clothing, gestures, and speech are all things that lead us to stereotype a person. Whether that is learned, or inherent will always be debated. But it is the key to stopping the assumptions we automatically have of people the instant we first lay eyes on them.

In a fast paced world it's easy to simply go on assumptions rather than taking the time out to really get to know a person. But if we all just took a little time, stereotypes may eventually begin to disappear, and Val can stop defending her heterosexuality to her parents.

If labeling anyone, especially a woman who has strong beliefs, convictions, and ideals for a better country and society, a lesbian as a way of diminishing her, I say watch out—Lady Liberty is pissed and that's one big bad dyke you don't want to mess with.

Urban Cocktails: The Big Pink Elephant in the Room

2010-10-20T00:48:00.002-04:00

I am about to reveal to you something so shocking you will be utterly dismayed. At first confusion will set in, and though this may take sometime for you to ponder, hopefully you will come to understand when I tell you that I'm a gay Catholic Republican. Yes, it's true. Now breath. The type of reaction I receive after telling people shouldn't surprise me, it's understandable that adhering to the ideals of Catholicism and Conservativeness while being gay can be mind boggling to some. Although I am not going to get into the reasons behind by choices, I am going to let you in on the problem it causes when trying to find and keep a boyfriend in a city full of liberals.

Over the summer I met this really great guy. He was very funny, quite charming, and extremely educated. Ricky was a politically driven student at Hunter. He was planning a major coup d'état of his college's Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, and everything else under the sun club. Ricky had missed a semester in school do to a lack of finances and his position as president of the club was taken over by a "super queer," as he called it. Ricky was ready to go into political battle with his opponent and I was prepared to stand by him and be his Evita.

The time we spent together was wonderful. We'd walk around the city, eat out at interesting restaurants, and talk about our interests. Inevitably the subjects of religion and politics are bond to come up, especially with such a politically minded person as Ricky was.

On a whole, I have come to respect other people's religious and political beliefs and I have even come to accept the bashing Republicans and Catholics receive. I understand the reasons behind the bashing and do not get upset by it. However, the time came where I could no longer avoid talk of my religious or my political beliefs. On the religion end of the spectrum Ricky and I matched, not 100 percent, but good enough to not let it interfere with our budding relationship. The Political end of the spectrum was another story all together. We clashed like brown shoes on a black suit. What was even worse was that Ricky just couldn't let it go.

I was very willing to accept his crazy liberal ideals and extend him an invitation to the cabin; unfortunately logs just weren't his cup of tea. I tried to convince him that I was an educated Republican and that I voted for Gore, but even if we shared that much, it wasn't enough. Funny, one would think that a collective hatred for Bush would bring about unity, but no. Don't forget, there were still social and economic issues that Ricky and I couldn't see eye to eye on. Thus it was time to pack my elephant trunk and hit the road.

I have to say I was saddened at fist by this ruined romance. I thought Ricky and I could really have had a great thing. But I soon realized that if I was with a person who couldn't accept and put aside my opposing political views, than I was better off with someone who could. I may have missed out on my chance to play Evita and be fabulous in vintage Dior, but I ended up gaining something even better: A Canadian! And if there's one thing any good American should know, it's just how damn good those Canadians are in bed.

Urban Cocktails: Here Comes the Groom

2010-10-20T00:41:00.002-04:00

I have been proposed to twice in my life. The first proposal came from Sean, my first real boyfriend and first real love. I was 20 and very ready for a long-term commitment. It didn't take Sean long to tell me I was perfect for him and that he wanted to marry me. Our relationship progressed rather quickly. We had only been seeing each other for about a week before the topic of marriage came up. We had the same interests, liked the same things, and shared the same dreams for the future - which included a marriage, 2.3 children, and a renovated old Victorian home in Connecticut with a wrap around porch.

Sean was going to be a lawyer and I was going to stay home with the kids and write novels. It all seemed so perfect, and it could have been, save for the fact, that Sean turned out to be a lying, cheating bastard. I should have seen it from the beginning when the night before our first date he told he had unwillingly been given a hickey by an all to forceful barfly. Later into the relationship when Sean began to work all the time and never returned any of my calls I began to get the feeling that something was amiss. This turned out to be true when I discovered he was looking for another boyfriend, though on-line personal ads.

I knew things were getting really serious when he asked what my ring size was during one of our regular conversations. These conversations would last ours and would consist of everything from 80's cartoon shows to architecture. They really ran the gambit. After that, he kept hinting that he had something to ask me the next time we went out. I was sure he was going to pop the question and I was more than ready to say "yes." We had been talking about marriage for sometime, and I knew it was just a formality that he actually proposed with a ring. Sean had said several times that he had found "the one" - he was done looking; there was no one better.

The ring never materialized, and on date after date neither did a proper proposal. Sean never got down on one knee or hid my Harry Winston Sarah Jessica square cut platinum band ring in a champagne glass, box of chocolates or bouquet of roses. All the time I waited, anticipating the moment when he would pop the question, but the question was never popped. He later told me that a very good friend of his suggested he wait a while longer before getting down on one knee. It seemed perfectly acceptable to me. The ring and the TLC Wedding Story proposal could wait, the notion was there and, as I thought, Sean wasn't going anywhere – or so I thought. Eventually, the relationship crashed, and my hopes of a husband were gone.

In time my hopes would be peaked again. This time by another guy, a different guy, who about a year and half later would save me from my loss of Sean. My second marriage proposal came from Phil, an older guy, 31, who I met at a club one rainy night. Phil and I hadn't been dating long either before he broached the subject of marriage. This time I knew better than to get my hopes up so early in the relationship; I told him I wouldn't give him an answer until we had been seeing each other long enough - the situation with Sean had taught me a few things. He agreed and instead of marriage, we played house.

While I didn't move in with Phil, I did spend a lot of time at his place - a great opportunity to see if we were compatible. I discovered that though Phil came with a few flaws, his over eagerness, a serious attachment to his dead mother and a Friday night bowling league to name a few, I could easily change them. After a while, though, Phil developed issues with my insistence that he got tested for HIV as soon as possible. He made all kinds of excuses: he was busy with work or he would take care of next week. He never seemed to have time to have some blood drawn. I decided that if Phil couldn't find time for me, then I wasn't going to waste time on him. I simply told Phil that we'd no longer be playing together until I knew he was safe. That was the last thing I ever said to him. Our playtime was over.

In both cases I ended up wondering how two very different people could propose marriage one day and never speak to me again the next. Is commitment something to be taken lightly, or is throwing around the idea of marriage not deemed sacred enough because a real marriage between to gay people isn't realistic? If gay marriage were a real possibility at the time of my two proposals, would things have gone differently?

A civil union, commitment ceremony, or judge presided marriage is not my dream wedding. My vision of marriage always followed along the traditional: a church, a priest, and a bride in white. But how can my new vision of marriage mesh with my traditional view? I may be able to replace the bride in white with a groom in Armani, and cut the guest list down from disapproving family members to accepting friends, but there is no way I'd be able to pull off the Catholic church wedding. With so much controversy surrounding gay marriage now, I have to ask myself if gay marriage is something I can really do?

It might take some time to accept, but if getting the chance to marry the man of my dreams means giving up my fantasy of a church wedding, then that's something I'll have to deal with. After all there are certainly other romantic and special settings that a civil union can take place in. Maybe an out door wedding wouldn't be so bad, and I hear the Plaza throws a great ceremony as well. In any case, I'm almost positive its going to be along time before I tie the knot or even consider accepting a too speedy proposal from a guy I just started dating. I'll give it awhile, who knows, buy the time I'm ready maybe I can actually have my traditional wedding, if not, I'll just have to deal. Oh yeah, and in case you were wondering, my ring size is a 7.

Urban Cocktails

2010-10-20T00:21:00.004-04:00

Some of you may know, but most will not know, that I once wrote a sex column for Fordham University - the College at Lincoln Center's newspaper, The Observer. In fact, I created the column. Any naysayers can see my track record in creating college newspaper sex columns, because I had created one before - at a prior institution, though I wrote that under a different name. Nonetheless, "Urban Cocktails" was much talked about and criticized by many.

There was a particularly racy piece that got me and the paper into hot water. I was not really prepared for negative attention, or the name calling, outward display of disgust towards me that I received from said piece. I had a sort of falling out with the paper you can say, and later on when the scandal was used against me, I lashed out, blaming them for a lot of the problems. I might have even called one of the new writers (yes, it was taken away from me partially after the incident even though I was the creator - I was -) a slut.

The thing is, even though I wrote about sex, my columns had a base to them with a stronger message. Each piece was about something - not just a did this guy and then I did this guy as the column morphed into after it was snatched from my hands. In part, I was upset about this particularly becuase I had been faulted for writing about sex candidly and so when others took over and really wrote about sexual exploits leaning towards the smut, I was hurt and angry.

Well, that was a long time ago and some apologies were made. But the fact remains that I did something that no other person had done. And though they wouldn't print this in my good bye piece (they actually altered my ending to something totally different than what I said and what I meant) - my final thoughts on the matter, and words to those who would write the column after me, came from the ultimate Diva herself, Cher: "Follow this you Bitches." You know what? No one could!

As a treat, I am going to post a few pieces that ran just so you can get a flavor. I hope you enjoy.

The Gilded Strings

2010-10-12T16:21:00.000-04:00

There's An App For That

2010-09-22T22:01:00.002-04:00

Me Like. Me Want.

And the Winner is...

2010-09-17T14:47:00.004-04:00

ME!!!!!!!!!

Thanks to a Tweet Competition, (who said nothing good ever came out of Twitter?!) I have just won a copy of "O Vale das Bonecas" - Portuguese version of "Valley of the Dolls"!!! I am so excited. I never really win anything. I'll take this as a sign that Jackie is looking over me and winking. Love you babes! xoxoxox

Writing the Wave

2010-09-08T19:03:00.006-04:00

If I have ever sat down with any of you readers and spoke about my writing and novel origins, you may very well know how that all came about. For those of you who don't, here is the brief: A long time a go, I picked up a writing book called Writing the Wave by Elizabeth Ayres. For a couple of years this book was no longer in print, and you could only find it on Amazon from "these sellers," but the book is now back in print and perhaps updated(?). You can find it here. This excites me. A lot of my students ask me to recommend writing books to them, and of course this would be the one. Ayres created this book a decade ago based off of her successful NYC writing classes. What I always found unique about Ayrer's book compared to other writing manuals was that unlike the other guys, her book was not full of endless B.S. writing about how to find dynamic characters or how to make plots work for you. Writing the Wave is filled with exercises guaranteed to help new and old writers find their voices and learn a few, or more, techniques when it comes to crafting prose. How do I know for sure? Becuase my characters and my novel grew out of those exercises.

The reason why I am mentioning this in today's blog, aside from the fact that you should get this book, is becuase recently I have been having trouble writing. I think a lot of it has to do with over thinking. I have spent a great deal of time revising my soon to be YA novel and that has got me second guessing every word I write. Another reason I believe has caused the trouble is environment. Do you remember that scene in the Sex and the City Movie where Carrie and Charlotte are shopping for the right desk and Carrie says, "When the desk comes, the writing will come." (or something close to that.) Carrie is right. The right desk - space -etc, will bring about the writing because a large part of creativity does come from environment. Mine has not felt very creative in a while. I am outgrowing my cramped writing corner and I need a real office and a really nice desk. I also need a new laptop. But that's another story - though I think the third part of the trouble is not feeling one with my on death's door laptop.

I have been trying hard to work on this short story I want to submit for possible publication. It has been challenging, but the deadline is approaching and I need to get it done and sent off. I'm just not feeling it. I know it is defiantly time for a change of space, but that's not going to happen anytime soon. I'm just going to have to forge ahead a deal with it and work out whatever the issues are so I can just go on writing. Maybe I'll pull out my copy of Writing the Wave and see how far I can ride.

I'm a Twat

2010-09-02T10:18:00.002-04:00

That's right people, I am now on the twitter. Follow me @briancentrone if you dare

To E-Book or Not To E-Book?

2010-08-30T10:28:00.003-04:00

That is the question. Readers help me decide. Is it better to hold 100 books in the palm of your hand or 100 books on a bowed book shelf? Is there room in the heart for pixel prose or paper dolls? Can one give up the physical for the lure of space? Can plastic create that warm, nurturing feeling that burying your face in a good book can? Readers, I beg of you to advise.

Take A Chance You Stupid Hoe

2010-08-23T11:28:00.002-04:00

So this week I am turning 30! EEEKKKKK. That's a big one. Am I stressing over it? Just a bit, but not because of the number per se. When people turn 30, I think they begin to assess their lives and start contemplating all the things they thought would happen by the time they reached the landmark. I have been.

When I first started writing my novel, I desperately wanted to be one of those 20 something authors who the world marvels at. Young and talented and ready to take on everyone and everything. I used to look at Christopher Rice and think, "He's so young - I want that too." (Chris was only 22 when his first novel A Density of Souls was published by Talk Miramax.) He also happened to be gay. I met Chris once during his first book signing in NY. It was really great to talk with him because I aspired to be like him. But of course, that didn't really happen. I was committed to writing my novel. In the early days I would sit for hours at my brother word processor (yes, I know) and write all day long, everyday. I had a fever in me, a conflagration, baby that's what. I was so inspired by Jackie Susanne, Grace Metalious and Bret Easton Ellis (who I've also meet). I read tons and tons of books and I responded to many, both personally and creatively. I was sure that within a year or so I would have my first finished novel and it would be a huge hit. I think it could have happened that way too. I really do. But life took control. I decided to go to college because I wanted to be a writer and I thought having a full education would help that. School took up a lot of my time. I gained a lot of friends. Was being more social. The writing started to slip. I always did it - but not as consistently. I would try to work on my other novel for writing classes - I had two going actually. The Big Deal novel and the Back Burner novel (this one I would work on for School).

My goal was to get into a writing program - help me achieve my dreams. But that didn't pan out. I was devastated. I struggled in mediocre writing classes durning my undergrad days and only hoped that when I applied for grad school, I would get into a good MFA. History repeated itself and I was rejected by all the MFA programs I applied to in the States. This was crushing. I couldn't help but wonder if it I had been in a great undergrad writing program, if things would have been different for me. The good side to all of this was that I had bonded with an English Professor who took me under her wing and saw me through the completion of my back burner novel. She encouraged me a lot and helped me a great deal when I was applying for grad schools. I think my dreams would have been completely destroyed if I had not been accepted to the MA in Novel Writing at Manchester (UK). It was a glimmer of hope.

Manchester was another story. It wasn't totally what it should have been. I worked on two different novels for the MA and was unsuccessful with both. It was hard. I thought I would polish up the back burner novel. But once again it had turned into the same old case of, This isn't working. So I switched, under advice from my tutor, who then left the program. I started back up on my big deal novel. It had been awhile since I last wrote anything for it. I thought it would give me the chance to reacquaint myself with the book and get back on track. Well, needless to say, it didn't really work. There was a lot that went on that I won't openly say, but the effects it had on me where traumatizing. It ruined my life. Manchester was not a good fit for me or my books. I didn't write for a while after I finished the course. I couldn't. I was lost. My dream was gone. I believed I just wasn't good. That I didn't fit in anywhere, that no one wanted my writing. Through all of this I had good friends who would push me and tell me to get on with it. I stopped work on the big deal novel and picked back up on the back burner one. I had finally figured out what it need to work. So I wrote and wrote and wrote. There was a glimmer of hope again. It took a while - mainly because I moved back to the US which offered a new set of problems - but I had the burning passion in me and fought through all the shit. I finished the back burner novel about a year ago. Last August actually, while I was in Ohio. I spent the last 6 months or so revising it with the help of a very dear friend. And you know, when we were finished with the revisions and I had my second completed draft of the book, I felt for the first time in 10 years that is was actually done. I felt as if I could walk away and it would be okay. It no longer nagged at me, rustled about in the back of my head. I had made it work and it was time to put it to bed. I was eager to get back to work on my big deal novel. It's been 3 years or a bit more, but I am ready. I haven't started yet because I have been shopping my back burner novel which is on the front burner for the first time with the flame on high. I am revising the draft based on feedback. I'm getting it pitch perfect for possible publication. When it's as good as it can get, I'm going to start back up on the big deal book - hopefully that one won't take another 10 years to complete!

As my 30th birthday quickly approaches, I can't help but be reminded of all this. How can I not? It's been an entire decade since I started on my novel (s). There have been a lot of ups and downs. A lot of roundabouts as well. I didn't quite become the 20 something novelist of my dreams, but Cyndi Lauper said that life beings at 30, and as I get ready to make my novel debut, I totally believe her.

Quote of the day

2010-08-13T14:25:00.001-04:00

"I don't want to hit it hard, I just want to hit it."

And the Winner is...

2010-08-10T14:48:00.003-04:00

DEE!!!!!!

Congrats, Dee. You are the winner of the Shade of Gray contest. A signed copy of the Anthology the story appears in will be sent to you. Thanks for playing!
Bx

Toy Story

2010-08-08T15:41:00.003-04:00

I am up to my eyeballs in toys. Old toys. From my childhood. I never threw any of my toys away because they meant the world to me. I didn't have many friends being the fat kid, and we all know my brother was/is a total ass, so I spent most of my time with my toys and creating imaginary worlds. I will attribute this to my ability to write and create stories. That and being raised on soap operas. Don't shun. They'll be a post about that soon.

In case you were wondering why I am rummaging through the toys, it is simple. After almost 30 years it is time to say farewell to them. BUT!!!! I am not throwing them away - well some of the lesser ones. I have a friend who wants to relive his childhood because his parents made him give all his toys away in yard sales and whatnot. Now he wants them all back and baby do I got em!

Ninja Turtles, Terminator, Karate Kid, Thunder Cats, He-Man, She-Ra (his sexy sister), Super Heroes, almost every toy based off a Saturday morning carton, Ghostbusters and so, so, so much more. You name it, I probably have it.

Sorting through them and trying to get them in related batches has been a lot of hard work. I have gone through 3 storage tubs and I know that there are more somewhere. I know it. On top of this I have also been going through my old YA and kids books. These I am shipping off to my good friends at Backlist Books in Ohio (see other posts). But there are some I'm not sending. Mostly the odd ball books that I think I will just donate. Anyone really into the original 90210? I have a handful of paperbacks geared around the show and its stars. Hit me up. I am also selling off on the cheap books about writing. Anything you may be interested in, drop me a line and it's yours. Just tell me how to reach you if I don't already know.

In case you haven't noticed, I am slowly attempting to kill off my past. I think this will be a good thing. Especially since I need more space for the future. And besides, I want to end up on Oprah because of my books, not because I hoard toys!

Back to Basics

2010-07-30T15:33:00.007-04:00

I am finally back in New York and I am as excited as ever. Things have been busy since I returned. I had to update the house computer for hours and days because no one else has the sense enough to figure out how to do that - and of course, there is the little fact they no one really knows how to handle a computer aside from myself. Why, even today I was restoring some programs that went astray. Not fun. On top of that I have been attempting to make room in my overstuffed bedroom for everything I brought back from Ohio with me. Mainly books I picked up at Backlist Books. I am also in the process of continued redecoration. It's always a challenge to figure out where to put all the new art pieces my friends in Ohio gave me as gifts. The challenge is fun nonetheless and I have come up with a great idea to a disappointing small mirror/large wall problem. Then there are the small things - car maintenance and bill paying and all that stuff that is not fun but time consuming. And finally on top of all that I am reading and writing. Back to serious work on my novel. Revisions are going okay, though I am not totally pleased yet and I want to go over the chapters I have been working on more closely. For a special treat, I am posting pics of what my work space looked like in Ohio when I was writing and also what I was looking out. It was very different to my normal writing environment, but I fund it helpful. Enjoy.

Quote of the Day

2010-07-21T14:44:00.004-04:00

Dear All, I like my quote of the day feature of this blog. Yes, some are "risque" but they are also very, very funny. They are a lighthearted look at life and the witty things my mind conjures up. They are, in essence, comedy. So I say to those who find them in poor taste and decide that I am not "family friendly" Grow up! Life's too short to be serious all the time.

And now a new quote of the day: "The harder the seat the better the ride!"

So We Meet Again

2010-07-20T11:34:00.003-04:00

Dear readers, I have just noticed that it has been a month since my last post. I didn't expect to be this quiet. I have been very busy over the last month reading and writing and teaching. There has been loads going on. I will be back in New York soon and I promise to share photos with you and keep you more updated. The winner of my Shade of Gray contest will also be announced, so you still have time to enter that. Make sure you do by the end of July. (See a few posts down). Over the last month I have read three classic Nancy Drew novels - "The Sign of the Twisted Candles," "The Clue in the Old Stage Coach," and "The Clue in the Crumbling Wall." I love reading these classics. Some of the plots are just ridiculous, but enticing all the same. There's a lot I can say on the old Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys books, though I might save that for a rainy day. What I will say is that their history is fascinating and I crave learning more about it.

That has to be all for now. I'm off to do a sushi run for an impromptu Sushi-Fashion-Tuesday where we will be watching the fantastic The September Issue can't wait!

Interview

2010-06-17T16:55:00.001-04:00

I have been interviewed for Kipp Poe's blog here. Click the link to check it.

Changes

2010-06-15T12:22:00.004-04:00

Those of you who have been following me regularly will notice I keep changing the layout of my blog. This is because I like to keep things new and fresh and also because I never seem to find anything I am truly satisfied with. This may be the reason for my lack of relationships and why I have yet to commit to a tattoo. Either way, I like this new layout and it was time, once again, for a fresh start. I have been inspired by Kylie's new album, Aphrodite, and more so, her new, sexy video for the first hit single, "All The Lovers." If you have not checked this out yet, you need to do so right away. It is hot. Lots of almost naked people grinding and making out with each other. Sexy Kylie is back and she is set to take the whole world once more by storm! I for one am looking forward to submitting!

Speaking of submitting, I sent out a poem the other day to an online magazine and will be making an additional poetry submission in the following days. September will see me submitting even more. I have planed to join the cycle once again and keep throwing my writing out there. Eventually someone will have to catch it. When I return home from the fine state of Ohio, where the giant Touchdown Jesus just got obliterated by the wrath of God (lightning), I will be making a new submissions board to help me keep track of who, what, when and where. I might even be daring and add the why!

Since my last post, I have finished Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit and have started up on A Kind of Intimacy. You can read a bit more about this book and my adventures buying it a few posts down - it's okay to scroll! I am enjoying it immensely and can identify with the main character, which I sometimes wonder if that is a good thing or not because Annie (the main character) is very flawed and well, does some pretty terrible things - so, hmm. An update on that when I am done. In the mean time, get yourself a copy and read it along with me. A discussion and quiz may follow.

Off I go to edit, edit, edit. Enjoy the changes.

It's Raining Readers

2010-06-11T10:41:00.005-04:00

Over the past few days it has been raining fierce here in Ohio. The rain did not cease for my last two readings and washed away listeners. However, there were a few die hard fans that braved the flooded streets of Massillon to hear me read. It was a good time. Of course I read "A Shade of Gray," as part of my ongoing promotion of the INK. Anthology, but I also read "The Life and Times of Biddy Schumacher: A Fantastical Story." "Biddy," as I affectionately call her, has not yet found a home, but will be entering the submission cycle once again very shortly. Everyone who hears me read "Biddy" loves the story. It's satire, but as in most satirical works of art, has layers and layers of social and religious commentary, amongst other things. The owner (Fred) of the store I was doing one of my readings in, Backlist Books, commented on how "Biddy" reminded him of the character sketches in Sherwood Anderson's Winesburg, Ohio. In a way he was right. "Biddy" does encompass feelings one gets from reading about Anderson's Grotesques, only, "Biddy" is funny and lighthearted, while the characters of Winesburg leave you forlorn. Still, it was a humbling comment. If you have never read Winesburg, Ohio, I suggest that you do. The simple, lyrical prose and the power of the stories will simply mesmerize you.

With all the readings done, I started up my lecture series on Modern American Writers of the Midwest. This has been going well. We began with a workshop that became more about a dialogue than about writing technique, but most all of the attendees seemed to enjoy this. The first topic of the proceeding lecture series was Anderson and Bellow. This will be followed up by Cather and Glaspell and finally Fitzgerald and Hemingway. There will also be a larger discussion session where people can talk about their favorite Midwestern Writers or share works of fiction they have been inspired to create. In between all this though, I will have begun to teach two writing workshops. One for young adults and the other, Creative Writing/Memoir Writing.

What really has been keeping my quiet as of late though is the amount of writing I have been doing. I have had stories to prep for submissions and I am currently revising/editing/rewriting the first chapter of my novel. Slightly all overwhelming, but coming along. To add to this, I have also been reading. I finally started and finished Vast Fields of Ordinary by Nick Burd. Some of you may remember seeing it on my nightstand from the picture I posted some time back of my "to read" set. Burd's was the last on that set and I am really glad I got around to it. It's a YA for Gay readers. It made me think a lot and feel a lot. It was nominated for a LAMMY, but did not win. Read it if you can. I have now moved on to Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit by Jennette Winterson. I have read this book before, it was part of my Contemporary British Fiction course, but I am teaching it in the fall so I wanted to re-familiarize myself with it. I've always liked the book. It's very funny and really says a lot about the role of religion in people's lives-especially when it is all consuming. I met Jennette Winterson once. She was fantastic. I'm really glad to have had the chance to hear her talk and get her to sign my book. I think a lot about what she said that night in regards to writing and family. I recommend this book to anyone. It's autobiographical and tells the story of her life growing up with a holy rolling mother, while dealing with her own budding lesbianism. It really will make you laugh.

Today I am off to submit another story to a comp. It's good to be at it again and to have material to circulate. Though, a few acceptances wouldn't be bad either!

Wish me luck!!

Ohio or Bust?

2010-06-02T09:41:00.003-04:00

Once again I am in the fine state of Ohio. I am currently the Writer in Residence at the Massillon Museum. This is a fitting title because I will be spending the entire summer here. Something Jill and I didn't really think through. But nonetheless, I will have time to do all the writing I need to get done and read. Lots.

The 8 hour trip out here wasn't so bad. I had more of a conviction to get in on time which gave me focus. I only stopped three times. Once for gas and twice to freshen up and stretch. After the fist four hours, the drive became boring. There was nothing to see. I-81 has a long stretch of nothing, but with the help of Glee's Madonna Themed Show Soundtrack and Adam Lambert's debut album, the last four hours did not cause me to go insane. I spent a lot of that time thinking about my novel and the changes I will be making to it. I find that driving in a car or walking on the treadmill help to facilitate this. Maybe it is because you can really empty your mind and doing so enables the creative part of the brain to fully take over. The only problem with this is that you can't write anything down! All you can do it try and repeat it to yourself enough times to commit as much of it to memory as you can and pray to God that when you do go to write it out you don't forget. But of course you will. It's always the best bits you can't quite remember in exact, and even though you can reconstruct them, you know they are just not as good as the original conception.

Last night, having arrived in the early afternoon, I gave my first reading of the week to a modest crowd at the library over in Jackson. I read "A Shade of Gray" to promote my newest publication. I had planned on reading a poem as well, but we ran out of time due to questions and answers. There was a lot of curiosity about my time spent in the UK and why I decided on doing an M.A. overseas instead of one in the US, and why so many readers have stopped investing in short story collections. The answer to the first question is simple: American Schools said "no" to me. As harsh as that sounds, getting into creative writing programs in the States is difficult. There are at least 300 - 500 applicants vying for 15 - 25 spots. Sometimes less. It's hard. Manchester said yes. They liked me, they liked my writing, I guess they liked I was from the US (the international card and all) and off I went. I have come to believe that most things happen as they should and going to Manchester was about more than doing the M.A. in the long run. There was a larger plan in motion and, finding that out, have always said that was the real reason I was in the UK. The answer to the second question is more of a combination made up of speculation from publishers and articles read. That is that readers do not feel buying a collection of short stories is an investment. Marketers believe that when people decide to shell out the big bucks for a book, they want it to be just that, a book. A whole novel with one story that they can get into and spend some time with. Not a collection of short works loosely connected, or not, but a very thin string. I would not disagree with this, but I would hasten to add that I feel the decline in the popularity of the short story began when magazines stopped publishing them. Sure there are loads of anthologies that collect them and Literary Journals that exist solely for them, but these are specialized. Something one would have to search out. Everyone knows the New Yorker and the Atlantic publish fiction, and those are seen as a higher end of magazine, but back in the day, almost every magazine use to publish short stories. Vogue, GQ, Rolling Stone and the like. They all did it. In fact, it was because magazines published short stories that some of our most famous authors became our most famous authors. F. Scott Fitzgerald was one of, if not the first, author to publish a short story in the then new magazine, GQ. While everyone knows FSF for his classic work, The Great Gatsby, that book, which I don't like, was a commercial failure when it first came out. No one bought it. It tanked. He made his money and his name through short stories. That's what the public wanted. That's what the public got. Sadly, those days are over and short stories no longer fill the pages of popular magazines. So how can you expect the larger none literary reading public to appreciate and flock to short stories when the masses aren't accessing them? Maybe e-zines will begin to change all that. After all, the state of publishing in general is battered. I say bring back the short story. You never know, maybe that would save the magazine industry?!

Tonight I have my second reading in a bookshop. I'll be promoting not only my newest publication, but my workshop and lecture series on Modern American writes of the Midwest. Should be a good time. I'll let you know...

A Kind of Intimacy

2010-05-31T14:18:00.005-04:00

The long awaited US debut of Jenn Ashworth's highly acclaimed first novel from the UK has finally made it to America. Published by Europa editions (in the US) this weighty novel will surprise you.

I myself was surprised when I asked the pleasant enough lady at the information desk of Borders books in Connecticut when the book would be released.

"Did you check the section?" she asked a bit on the snide side.

I meekly replied, "no" then tried to explain I thought it wasn't going to be out in the shops until June.

She walked over to the "A" section of Literature without me and came back with this handsome volume. My eyes went wide as I saw Jenn's book clutched in the woman's middle aged hands.

"It's out?!" I didn't...I thought...Great!"

The sale woman smiled for the first time as she handed me the book.

"My friend wrote this," I proudly said. "I did my degree with her.

She fanned interest and walked off to help another woman who looked more her age find a book on the display stand the customer was searching.

"Ok," I thought to myself and immediately walked back to the section so I could see the books on the shelf. An excitment filled me. There they were--on a face out! "She's made it," I thought.

Not prepared, I didn't have my camera on me to document the experience, but I did have my phone, which takes pretty okay pictures if I'm steady. Unfortunatly, one hand was full of items and the only place to set them down was occupied by an old lady. So with one hand I manipulated my phone and snapped some shots. The first was a close up, the second a long shot because as it turns out, Jenn's book sits on the shelf right under Martin Amis' new novel. This I found amusing becuase Martin Amis, who I have meet several times and have exchanged knowing glances with on several early mornings on the Oxford Road in Manchester (UK), is currently a Professor of Creative Writing at The University of Manchester where both Jenn and I underwent our M.A.

Not wanting to disturb the old lady any further by snapping shots, and really, minus an actual camera was there a need try and get additional pictures?, I headed to the register to pay for my items. As I handed the book over to the very attractive man to ring, I couldn't help but think, "I'm buying Jenn's book!" The second friend off my course to have a published book. The first was Chris Killen, whose American release of the much blogged about The Bird Room received a pictorial and text spread on my blog a few months ago. (Scroll through the older posts to find it.)

As I left the shop, I had to wonder who would be next? Sian Cummins? Charlene Sawit? Morag Edwards? Me? Each one of us deserving, each one of us ready.

I haven't started Jenn's novel yet. I plan on doing that this summer in Ohio. Quite possibly I might add it to the reading list for one of my lit courses in the coming semesters. But before I can teach it, I have to read it! And so should you. Get yourself a copy today.

Quote of the Day

2010-05-12T22:52:00.000-04:00

"I love wagons, but I love falling off them even more!"

A Shade of Gray Contest

2010-05-10T18:16:00.008-04:00

To help promote and celebrate my 9th publication, "A Shade of Gray," featured in INK. A Journal of Creative Writing and Art 2010, I am holding a contest.

"A Shade of Gray" is a story about a woman who has the undesirable task of breaking up with her boyfriend. Even though Emma knows many of the reasons why her and Richard's relationship doesn't and can't work, she is still unable to express to him why she can't be with him, leaving Richard in an utter shade of gray.

Have you ever experienced "A Shade of Gray?" If so, I want to hear all about. Share your "Shade of Gray" moments on this blog for a chance to win a signed copy of this new and exciting publication, filled with up and coming New York writers and artists. Don't miss out on this exclusive chance to own a limited publication featuring what will sure you be a much talked about short story in my writing career.

Publishing News

2010-04-16T17:05:00.003-04:00

I have just received official confirmation that my short story "A Shade of Gray" will be published in this year's edition of INK: A Journal of Creative Writing and Art at SUNY/Westchester Community College.

This, of course, is exciting news. "A Shade of Gray" sees my return to the publishing scene. My last published work, a short story entitled, "Team Player" appeared in the 2007 erotic anthology Fast Balls published under Alyson Books.

INK, formally Voyages, is an award winning journal. Interestingly, my first two publications, "The Fine Arts Cinema" (Poem) and the very popular "Exit" (short story) were both published in Voyages. I am very pleased to have my work appear in the newest rendition of this great journal. The selection process is fierce. Editors of the journal have always looked to publish the strongest, cutting-edge and thought provoking material submitted.

The 2010 edition of INK should make its debut later this year.

Quote of the Day

2010-04-11T14:38:00.002-04:00

"Marriage is a dish best served Microwaved."

Quote of the Day - Easter Edition

2010-04-04T12:37:00.001-04:00

"But he's a Jew, why is he bringing a pork roast to Easter dinner?"

The Best Cover Letter Ever Written

2010-03-30T18:52:00.003-04:00

Below you will find the best cover letter ever written. I posted this a year ago on a blog I share/shared with my "wife" Emma. Since many of us are still looking for work, I thought it would be a good idea to dust this off and share with you again. Enjoy.
Bx

To Whom It May Concern:

I am applying for the job you have posted on line, in the papers and on your site. I believe I am right for this position because I need money. I have bills to pay, student loans and credit card debt. Lots of credit card debt. What also makes me feel I fit this position is the fact that I am tired of all the game playing that goes into applying to and getting a job. I am smart, I have a degree, in fact I have 3! Plus a certificate, and yet, still I am passed up in favor of idiots that you can pay less and work more. Well, I want to be your idiot. I really, really do. What a benefit you will be getting in me. Brains for Less pay. That’s the deal of the century. Much better than any government bail out plan. You can bet your bottom dollar on that!

As you can see from my resume (if you have bothered to look that far ahead), I have a truck load of experience. Look, see. Ahhh, yes, that’s right. Impressed now? Of course you are, yet you hesitate. Why? Does my degree not fit in with the position? Should that matter? I have transferable skills that would knock the socks off of any other potential job candidate. I have references that would get me appointed Queen of England, so why don’t you call them up and have a chat? Maybe they will tell you what a great person I am. That I work harder and better and longer than anyone else. That I put in 110% to everything I do, granted I like it and you are nice to me. If not, you can sod it.

So what do you say? Why not just take a chance on me? I know I can do the job and I know you will not be disappointed. And if you are, you can fire me, or at least try to…

Sincerely Yours,

The guy who needs a job, badly.

PS Did I tell you I still live at home and desperately need to get my own place? My family is driving me crazy and I would like to have sex again.

To the River: Remembering Virginia Woolf

2010-03-27T18:09:00.001-04:00

2010-03-27T17:58:00.002-04:00

The Writer's Road

2010-03-25T09:00:00.005-04:00

This week I had the privilege of guest lecturing in a course called "The Writer's Road." This course is being offered at Fordham University--where I completed my B.A.. My former Professor and Thesis Adviser, Dr. K. Lauer is responsible for not only creating this course, but for bringing back past students she taught who are now writers. This is a great opportunity for the young writers of the class to meet and talk with established authors and for established authors to discuss their craft with up and coming writers. Dr. Lauer asked me to discuss grad-school with her students, as I am a recent M.A. recipient, and because I did my degree in the U.K. She also had them read my very first short story, "EXIT," which appeared in Fordham College at Lincoln Center's Lit Journal, Red Rover, and my acclaimed play, "The Gilded Strings," produced for the Big Read events out in Massillon, OH. This was a great opportunity to talk with the student about the writing process, mine and theirs, and offer as much advice as I could on the craft.

Editing Machine

2010-03-14T14:58:00.004-04:00

Recently I have been an editing machine. It's all a part of my push to jump-start my career again. Remember my list of resolutions? Well if not, scroll a few posts down, it's there. This is part of it - the whole writing new stories, finishing up my novel and reviewing older stories that still need homes. There is still tons to do. Editing is an interesting process. It can be loaded with doubt. Can you imagine trying to figure out why your story doesn't work? What about the story do publishers not quite like? How can I fix this without having to rewrite the whole damn thing? These thoughts can be draining and of course cause a writer to want to run and hide under the covers. I've been hiding for some time now. Thinking about all the short stories that I need to review and rethink has been challenging. I don't really know if anything actually is wrong with them - it could be that they just weren't desirable to the editors at that time. But this can't be known, so you sit and think and think and fear until you don't wantanything to do with the editing process. You just want to start anew. Alas, sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and get on with in. This is where I am at. I'm just getting on with it.

Despite the torrential downpours and 60mph winds, I ventured all the way to Yonkers to edit more of my novel with Sandi on Saturday afternoon. It's been a long time since we edited the novel. The last time was right after the New Year. Seems like ages. Driving down I thought I had to be crazy to venture out in the storm, but I've been having that too comfortable feeling that comes from believing you have "finished" your novel. After many years of rewrites and rethinking, I do believe I've "got it." Because of this I finally feel ready to move on. But I need that push. I needed to get past that "take it or leave it" feeling; rain and wind be damned!

It was a good time. Sandi and I work well together. We manged to breeze through four more chapters. This means that we have only three more chapters to go. The beginning chapters had more issues that needed dealing with. A lot of this was due to the restructuring of the novel itself. But as I carved a clear path, the writing got better and so the editing is getting easier. What we mainly do now is question word choice, rephrase sentences, make sure characters sound true to themselves and adjust details. Sandi points these out and we talk about them. She asks me why I made a particular choice or if a line sounds as if the character who is saying it would be saying it. I think about this, try and remember why, if I can, and we work it out. Being able to talk these choices out with someone is good. It's not just, this is wrong, fix it. It's why is this not right? How is this being perceived and by whom? This is mainly for my own understanding. If sections need a bit more work than can be done on the spot, I make a note of it and work on it at home. I have three areas to look at this time. Nothing too major. Just some possible additions and slight restructuring. I'm really glad I braved the storm. I'm this much closer to actually being finished, finished. Of course, after we do get the last three chapters done, the novel has to be reread and issues that may not have arisen yet will have to be dealt with. I'm okay with this. I even welcome it. It's time to send this baby out into the world!

A Semi-Open Letter to Former Governor of Alaska Sarah Palin

2010-02-21T16:45:00.003-05:00

Dear Former Governor of Alaska Sarah Palin:

I love you. I really do. I am so excited that you will be working for Fox News, as any American with half a brain knows that the only honest and reliable news comes from Fox. I think you are the greatest. You were the best thing about the McCain campaign, and, as we all know, were the only reason his race for the White House got so far. You brought life and light into that mothball-encrusted, dead-end attempt for the Presidency. I don’t care what the naysayers shout—You saved McCain and you were the only reason anyone kept interest. Why, even your charity auction Cabbage Patch Doll went for triple that of the others, even more so than Joe Biden’s doll which didn’t even crack a grand. But was that really surprising? I’m really glad though. That pompous ass needs to come down a notch or ten. It just goes to show you that you have star – or presidential – potential. Palin 2012!!!

Can I also say that I truly think Katie Couric should get down on her knees and kiss the ground you walk on in thanks for saving her drowning career. We all know CBS was getting ready to sort that mistake—until her venomous and deliberate attack-dog interview with you. I would have behaved in the same vein. The nerve of her, insinuating you don’t read and have no clue about what’s going on in the world outside of Alaska. Obviously her mother didn’t raise her right.

But as much as I would love to go on about how great I think you are, the real reason for this letter is to ask you for an autographed photo of yourself (preferably in one of the pink jacket outfits you looked so beautiful in during the campaign). I teach in a very liberal college and my colleagues really hate you. I will not repeat what they say as it is not fitting for a lady of your stature. The women are the worst. I’m not surprised though, they must be so jealous of your beauty and ability to hold down a career and a family successfully. I would love nothing more than to one day hang an autographed photo of you in my office—not only to piss my colleagues off, but to show my support for the first female President of the United States of America! Palin 2012!!! I really hope you will run. The Republican Party needs a contender like you. You have my vote and full support.

I would be so honored if you granted my wish for that autographed photo of yourself. It would really mean so much.

All the best to you (Palin 2012!!!)

Faithfully, Truly, Sincerely Yours,

Brian Centrone
Proud Card Carrying Republican Since 1998

P. S. I didn’t vote for Bush. I saw that train wreck coming from a mile away.

Quote of the Day

2010-02-14T16:06:00.001-05:00

"Nothing tastes better than Skinny."

Quote of the Day

2010-01-29T14:56:00.001-05:00

"If you don't want me to stare at your penis, you shouldn't place it on display."

Should Frienships come with a Renew Option?

2010-01-26T20:39:00.002-05:00

Not too long ago, my friend Chris Ross, came up with an analogy about friendships that I thought was brilliant. “Friends should be like magazine subscriptions. You should have the option to renew each year.”

He told me this in response to a problem I was having with some “friends” of mine. I am sure if you asked these “friends,” the problems lay with me. The truth of the matter is that recently I have been disappointed with many of my friends—those I believed to be real and true, who have turned out to be neither.

But I had to wonder, why all the disappointment? The reason I came up with was simple: Expectations.

Expectations ruin friendships. They ruin relationships for that matter. If you have no expectations of someone, they can’t really disappointment you. It’s ultimately that simple.

Case in point: I have been friends with a fellow named Jordan since 2001. We don’t see each other very much, in fact, we haven’t seen each other in five years. We talk online, not always, but frequently. We share similar interests. Why has our friendship been able to last almost a decade? Because we expect nothing from each other, yet we both know that when we talk it will be with shared interest. Seeing each other isn’t even an issue. That was never built into the kind of friendship we created, and that I think helped.

When seeing each other and hanging out is built into the structure of your friendships, the foundation of them can be weakened when that element stops. This has been an issue for me as well. I live far away from my friends—or far enough for them not to want to visit. With everyone’s busy life, I have to be scheduled into theirs. That’s if they think of me at all. Out of sight, out of plans. If I am remembered, it is I who has to make the journey to them. In what world is it okay for one person to do all the long hauling, but not the other? Where is the equality in that? There isn’t any. Only the pre-prescribed expectation that if I visit you, you’ll visit me. The “Tit for Tat” ideology.

I have few friends who will make the schlep up to see me such as my friend Gina. Gina and I have been friends for a very long time. Over the holiday break, Gina and her Fiancée had some time available and so they thought it would be nice to pay me a visit. With them they brought a Christmas gift. Very unexpected and very meaningful in its nature. I also had a gift for them. Something for the home they are about to make with each other. The surprise was on both ends because Gina and I don’t expect that each time we see each other over a holiday or birthday that gifts will be included. In fact, the only thing we do expect from each other is that we’ll have a good time no matter what we’re doing.

I live by a different belief system. To me, when you are friends with someone for a long time and it’s more than casual, protocol should be thrown out the window. If you’re that good of friends, you should not only know each other inside and out, and be comfortable with each other, but you should accept each other for the way that you both are. Rules and expectations pushed aside.

Maybe my disappointment comes from own expectations of the people I consider friends. I don’t have heavy expectations like some may have. I don’t need to be brought gifts when I invite someone over—I’d just be glad they visited. I don’t need to exchange Christmas and Birthday presents on a revolving basis. Those gifts are meant to be gestures, not expectations. To me, true friendship is just wanting to be with one another because you each make the other feel good. It’s about being there for the other when the shit hits the fan or the dog eats your homework. It’s a deeper connection, and one that if it stops working should be reevaluated and if need be, canceled like a magazine subscription you no longer care to receive.

Of course, all friendships and the expectations they may or may not come with are based on the circumstances and the nature of that relationship. And most friendships, including mine, and more complex than this little write up can begin to explore. The answers, my feelings, and the situations are not all presented here, neither are the exceptions to the rules – for of course there are many. Essentially, if you’re my friend, just be my friend. Take me for the good and the bad. Know that I think differently than the rest of the world and that I don’t follow the norm because for me, the norm never really existed.

There are several friendships I will be choosing not to renew this year. Is this a sad thing? Maybe. Or maybe it’s just a reality we all have to come to terms with. We should all start thinking about our friendships. Are they working for us? It’s okay to not be friends with the people who use and abuse us. There is no harm is saying no to something you no longer want. You just need to be brave enough to cancel that subscription. How many friendships will you be renewing this year?

Quote of the Day

2010-01-22T17:51:00.000-05:00

"There's only one kind of pussy I like and it goes Meow!"

The Bird Room Has Landed

2010-01-20T13:16:00.012-05:00

January 19th 2010 -- Chris Killen's much buzzed about first novel, The Bird Room, lands in America. Having placed an order for one so I would be alerted upon the book's arrival. I set out the day after I received the phone call that it was in to not only pick up the American edition of this Contemporary British Novel, but to document the experience through words and images.

The day was wet and dark -- Chris' book must have brought the Manchester weather with it. The bookstore of choice -- Barnes & Noble -- one of the most established, and last standing, of the chain stores in America.

As soon as I entered the store I went to the counter to collect my copy. The sales woman, both homely and dyke-y, promptly made me pay for the book. I would have preferred to walk around the store with the book, maybe pick something else up before buying, but alas...

With book in bag in hand, I headed over to the fiction section to find the book. And there it was -- they were. All two copies -- I had the third of course. The books were placed spine forward. After snapping some photos, I immediately set about adjusting the other books on the shelf so The Bird Room could have a face out. Then I took some more pics. Interested to see where Chris Killen fell alphabetically on the shelf, I noticed that he was between Jamaica Kincaid and Jamaica Kincaid. Huh? I moved the Kincaid book to the right with the other Kincaid books to the left and stopped again. Killen doesn't come after Kincaid. So I looked further to the left and realized, not surprisingly, that Americans can't alphabetize. As you can see from the pictures, I replaced the book to the right spot and left it with with a face out to grab the attention of passers by. Why not? Chris got lucky with a fab cover.

The American edition of The Bird Room is more light-weight than the British edition and thinner by half. While the number of pages are still the same, the thinness come more from the paper - not as heavy and rich as the British edition. New quotes have been added to the front and the back cover; the latter's layout re-done. The Acknowledgments page has been moved from the back of the book to the front and the opening quote from Yukio Mishima has been omitted. While the back cover claims an author photo credit, no author's photo of Chris is included.

Over all, the excitement was non ending. I was proud of my friend. He now sits amongst the best that literature has to offer - which of course, includes Killen. Make sure to pick up your copy today!

*To view the pics in a large scale, click on the images you wish to see.

My Current Line-Up of Books

2010-01-20T00:36:00.008-05:00

These are the books I have lined up to read in the now. I am well into Julie & Julia. I have to say that I was very surprised just how different the book is to what my expectations of it where. After seeing the movie, I inherited a preconceived notion about how the original story was first told by Julie Powell. It's really interesting and very all over the place. I think the movie did a good job of parring down the essentials of the story that at times gets lost in the book due to Powell's telling of back story mixed with current and future events. If a recipe was written in the ordering of Powell's narrative, the dish would be impossible to make. Still, I am finding some interesting tidbits within the chaos and I am looking forward to seeing it through to the end.

Really looking forward to reading the next two on my table. I think they'll bring me a lot of inspiration.

A Few of My Favorite Things

2010-01-18T11:26:00.004-05:00

Direct from Pakistan - Handcrafted and perfect for when I need to ring for my servants!

Louis Vuitton wastebasket - A Gift from the Philippines - Only dry garbage goes in this one!

It's a bird! A glittered bird! It's perched in my glitter topiary. I love it!

Quote of the Day

2010-01-17T17:08:00.002-05:00

"I don't wait on lines, I snort them."

New Year, Old Regrets

2010-01-13T12:36:00.002-05:00

What is it that the beginning of a new year brings about memories of past regrets? I guess it is inevitable as the new year has come to be synonymous with new beginnings. Out with the old, in the with the new, resolutions and a new you.

I have not escaped this notion. Recently I have lay awake at night consumed with what ifs. It has been hard not to with job uncertainty and career dreams and failures all at present. I keep thinking that before I started teaching I interviewed for an Alumni Relations position at a local College. I really wanted this job. A week before the interview I was offered the teaching gig, which I accepted, because they couldn't wait on the outcome of the other position. I was to teach nights and weekends and I figured it wouldn't really interfere with the full-time day job. I could probably do both and earn some much needed extra cash.

This didn't turn out to be true. While I feel the interview with the College about the AR position went well, there was a snag that caused me to hesitate and not peruse it aggressively as maybe I should. Travel. Lots of Travel. Nights and weekends. It would have been great if not for my teaching stint that would be starting soon. I think my, most likely apparent, apprehension with this and questioning of how the traveling all worked, caused for a pause on their part. But you see, I felt I had an obligation to the teaching gig. After all, I did accept the offer and it was the first real offer at a job I had in 6 months of being home from the UK. I didn't want to mention it in interview in case that would totally count me out. I figured once I had the job offer, I might negotiate. It would be one semester - and 15 weeks in the grand scheme of things isn't that long.

It never came to that. I never got a call back, and like I said, I didn't pursue. What is maybe the most messed up issue about this whole affair is that my classes got canceled and all switched around. As it turns out, no one wants to take a class on a Sunday and other, more senior adjuncts can steal your courses from you, because after all, they are higher up and are more deserving of a salary than a new guy is. Makes sense, doesn't it? You see, when I was offered the classes, no one actually told me the rules and regulations of being an adjunct. Things like, what happens when classes get canceled and what happens when a bully wants your class. Had I known that my job was, in fact, not a secure position and that I could be picked up and dropped at will, I probably would have pushed for the AR job and not have held on to honor so much. After all, being a new guy, I'm shown very little when I get called hours before I'm supposed to teach and am told I've been replaced.

To be fair though, there are those who have treated me very well while being a teacher and I appreciate all their help with making sure I had courses to teach when the rug was pulled from under me. Especially since I just bought a car so I could go to the job.

So why I am thinking about this? Because I am still part-time, still filled with uncertainty about whether or not a course will run, still being given the not so desirable courses in terms of days and times and the recently acquired knowledge that an adjunct has to wait 10 years before they are considered permanent/senior and can get the courses they want, even if that means stealing them from a new guy. I'm not used to the slow moving wheels of academia. In my other jobs, my ability and hard work was rewarded by higher positions and greater responsibility in a short amount of time. Academics does not work like this. And if I wasn't so unsure if I can make a life as a part-timer who never knows if he will have a job come next semester, can you blame me for wondering what would have been had I went after and got my full-time AR Job? Would I have been happy? Would I have done well and been successful? Would I be living on my own and be a lot thinner because I would have had less stress in my life and the ability to be healthy and focused again a lot sooner?

I wonder all this at night these days since the new year began. There are many things about my teaching gig I like, even though at times it can be frustrating - especially with students who don't care to learn, but ultimately, I want job security and a full time salary and, wait for it, medical insurance! I don't think that's so much to wish for.

So much time has passed since I last worked in the field of AR that I'm not even sure I could go back into it. Nor do I know if I even want to anymore. Perhaps the bigger question in all of this is what do I exactly want to do? The answer, while sometimes hard to say, is this. I want to do this. Write. But we all know that making a living as a writer is a hard task and one people roll their eyes at when told of your chosen desire. Yet it's true. I want to make my life as a writer and being creative and getting things done. Putting things out there into the world and hopefully filling it and someone with just a little bit more joy or pleasure than they had.

Where do I fill out an application for that?

New Year's Eve

2010-01-01T01:48:00.003-05:00

Another New Year's Eve home alone. Why is everyone making me feel bad about it? It's been the same thing for almost 30 years in a row, minus a few oddities like a Kylie concert, two parties, a casino, Times Square with friends from out of town, and a night out in a pub. But other than that...

What's New

2009-12-29T23:44:00.002-05:00

I am on winter break. Things that I have planned for winter break:
Write one to two new short stories.
Continue revising my novel.
Revise and send out three of my short stories to new publications.
Put together poem packet and send out to a publication.
Go to the gym.
Read books (pics of the books on my nightstand waiting to be read will be posted soon).
See Lady Gaga.
Take photo journal of me buying Chris Killen's "The Bird Room" in America! (Jan 5th-ish release people! Go out and buy it).

I am featured on my friend Sian's website promoting her book. Check out what I said here. Then share your own memories about New Year's Eve 1999!

Speaking of New Years, my resolution is to read the entire issue of Instinct magazine that comes to my home every month because I don't and I really should.

What are your resolutions???

My Christmas Tree's Delicious

2009-12-29T23:41:00.001-05:00

My very gay-disco tree. Thanks Target!

New Quote of the Day

2009-12-04T15:13:00.001-05:00

"Life is a game of chess. Sadly, most people are playing checkers."

and...

"That man is wearing shorts. He must be Russian."

Comebacks, Lambert and the Gags

2009-11-25T23:29:00.002-05:00

Greetings fellow readers--reader? After an insane absence from The Sausage Factory, I am back with some news, tidbits and overall deliciousness. To start, I would just like to do some shameless promotion. Tuesday the 1st of December 2009, I will be showcased as part of the Poets & Writers reading series at SUNY/Westchester Community College. The reading is double slotted, so you can see me twice, how nice! 10 am and 11 am respectively. This will be on campus in the large lecture hall in the classroom building. I think it's going to be packed, so come early to hear me read.

OK. Now that that bit is over, on to my next topic: Adam Lambert at the AMAs. I would just like to start by saying I loved it!! Well, maybe not the singing part as I thought his vocals weren't really that good (with the sound system?). However, I did enjoy the song enough to buy the single from iTunes the next day for only 99 cents. The song is great and if you listen to the lyrics, the performance really pays tribute to them. If I was a star, that would be the exact type of performance I would give, except my performance would have more simulated sex, more male on male kissing and more aggression overall. Go big or go home is what I say. The problem people are having with this show is just another example of how general America does not like gays, sex or artistry. What Adam did is bold for a male performer; it is usually the females that pull out tricks like that, ie Madonna, Lady Gaga... Adam is a gay male and he is not afraid to say it and show it. Good for him. It's about time there was a Gay star that wasn't scared of really showing himself (aside for George Michael, as that was a different type of showing himself). Gays in Hollywood walk around on eggshells and it is time to stop. Get up, get out there, and show the world what we can do! Come out of the shadows boys and shove some male dancers' faces in your crotches--it's okay, I say so.

Now, speaking of the gays, ALL HAIL LADY GAGA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A gift from the heavens. Gaga is a breath of fresh air in a very stale pop environment. Originality, talent, and heart, Lady GAGA is saving pop music and our souls. If you haven't gotten her new album THE FAME MONSTER, go out and get it. It's only $8!!! Thanks to Gaga sticking up for her fans and their wallets. A++ for battling your own label, Gags. I can't wait to see her on tour in NY this January. Hardest tickets to get in town, but worth the blood, sweat, and tears. Gaga, you leave me Speechless.

As of comebacks, aside from my own, Whitney Houston. All I have to say on this matter is she still seems a little crackie. You needin' a little of the old dust to get you going out there on stage Whit, Whit?? "The Greatest Love of All" for sure!

Until next time...
Bxxx

Lady GaGa Wins Best New Artist at the 2009 VMAs and Puts on one of the best preformances ever.

2009-09-14T00:20:00.003-04:00

Lady GaGa really speaks to the inner freak in all of us. What she does is truly ART. "This is for God and the Gays!" Go GaGa!

Watch it here.

Big News

2009-09-01T00:02:00.000-04:00

I have finished my novel! (again) On to revision...

Stark Naked Salon

2009-08-23T10:28:00.003-04:00

The Stark Naked Salon opening was a great success. Over 1200 people attended! The show was fantastic and the whole evening was a lot of fun. Here are some photos:

More, More, More.

2009-08-19T12:27:00.002-04:00

My time is Ohio is coming to a close. I return to NY on Monday. Before I go, there a still some pretty exciting things to look forward to. This Thursday is my final meeting with the boys and girls club kids - Hooray! I ain't doing that again!! Friday is my last Memoir Writing Class and Travel Writing Class. We could have done with so much more time. Perhaps if I return again... Saturday is the opening of what will be the biggest and best exhibits the Massillon Museum has ever seen. Stark Naked Salon! I have been watching the boys hang the show. It's going to be amazing. I'll post pictures after the event. Sunday we are celebrating my birthday by going out to eat sushi. The theme will be NYC Prep. Should be fun...has to still be planned...hmm.

Well, off I go. Work to do.

art

2009-08-11T10:42:00.005-04:00

Here are 2 arts pieces I bought from Scot and Sandi's show at the Beauty Salon. Scot's is the the one that says SLUT. I love it! I love Sandi's coat as well. I just got two more smaller pieces from them today. I can't stand it! Their stuff is just so good. I might do some art for them as trade. Let's see what develops....

Updates from the Buckeye State

2009-08-03T15:29:00.002-04:00

Here I am again writing from Ohio. I know it has been a bit since my first update, but things have been busy. The Akron zoo was fantastic! Not as big as some zoos, but really well laid out and lots of fun. My camera was full so I only got a few shots. Things were busy at the museum as well. I helped out with a few mailings (not fun) and began writing courses in memoir, travel as well as teen writing at the boys and girls. Memoir is the most popular of the courses. We stated out with 14 people and after it’s second week, a 15th has asked to be added. I think I will extend my course by one week as we really are quite full. It also makes sense because travel writing started one week later and was moved to the same day as memoir. Teen writing also started a week late. The boys and girls club is interesting…Jill thought it went well, but it was a real challenge to get underprivileged and hope deprived kids from the wrong side of the track to sit through a creative writing class. But I will be back with a new exercise for them that I hope they will like.

There have also been a few parties along the way. It’s been really fun to hang out and have a few laughs and drinks. Felt like the good ol’ days. Jill had some college friends visit this weekend. They were great. On Sunday we had a proper day out. Being with people and having fun makes me wish I had that kind of life in NY. I don’t live near anyone in NY and seeing my friends is always a challenge, and still when I do, it’s usually a one on one basis. Where’s the group action??? Sigh.

The art scene is where it’s at. Two of my new friends from the museum are artists and they opened a show this weekend at the Beauty Salon. A strange place, but Akron seems to be full of odd places showcasing art. I bought two pieces, one from each, that I was really drawn to. There is another big art show opening at the end of the month. That one is supposed be huge. Can’t wait as things will surely get crazy. After that I head back home. Can’t wait! Not looking forward to the drive though. Oh well.

Some pictures coming soon...

Live from Ohio...

2009-07-23T16:03:00.002-04:00

Greetings from the Buckeye State!

After a long and at times daunting road trip, I arrived in Akron just on time to met Jill. Along my trip I discovered many interesting things. One being that the Shell station just over one hundred miles into the journey also doubles as a subway. They offer fresh spinach for your sandwich. I accepted the healthy and tasty compliment to my grilled chicken foot long. Cheese, tomatoes and cucumbers joined the mix for one delicious dish. Oh, did I mentioned I kicked the whole thing up a notch with a chipotle dressing? I think Bobby Flay would be proud.

Another thing I discovered is that I-80 is the devil. It is long and boring and many parts of it are under construction making the journey even longer and boring-er and smelly. Several times my nose got a whiff of burnt rubber, over heated-ness, roasted peanuts?? and an indescribable order one wonders about with worry. There was also a smell of elephant house at one point. I wasn't sure if a preserve was near by or that part of Pennsylvania just smelt like dung.

Perhaps the most interesting thing I saw was a rolled jeep. And the rolled jeep's tire cover and containers of car fluids strewn across the road. I don't think anyone was hurt - how I don't know as the car took a bad flip, but three individuals were say beside it on a blanket as if at at pick nick, so... There might have been shards of tire as well. Of course, I have become immune to the image of tire shards because the Interstates, all three (I-84, I-80 & I-72) are littered with them. How many blow outs are there?

All that aside, I made it. Today I traveled to the museum all by myself. I was only put in peril once when I wasn't sure about making a turn on the street I was supposed to. The road's paints were so faded I thought I had a turning lane when it actually turned out to be the turning lane for the other side! Opps. Then I was sticking out too far when I quickly moved back into the right lane. Several turning cars said mean things to me about being out to far, yet made no attempt to clear the space adequately. This made me both sad and scared. But I survived that too. The only other impairment in getting to Mass Mu was the fact that there were road blocks and detours everywhere!!!!!! This drove me and my GPS crazy! I thought I would never get to where I was going. Alas, I soldiered on and arrived to excitement and open arms by Mandy and Sandi, two of the Museums' most fun people. Then again, everyone at the Museum is great. They are my facebook friends. :) Yay.

Tomorrow I start memoir writing with a full class of 13! My oh My! It should be fun. I also may do a small group of Travel Writing if we can identify a time that works for the 3 people who seem to be most interested. Next week I have a meeting withe Boys and Girls club to see about possibly offering teen writing to them while I am here. We'll see how that goes...

Well, that's it for now. I promise to take pictures and post them up here. Don't forget that a few new stories will be appearing on the blog, so stay tuned!

Ohio or Bust!

2009-07-21T23:55:00.003-04:00

Brian's long awaited and highly anticipated return to Ohio is finally here. Expect updates, pictures and a few surprises along the way.

The Great American Road Trip is about to begin...

It's coming...

2009-07-18T15:05:00.001-04:00

Get Stupid

2009-07-12T20:25:00.006-04:00

Watch this Video and start the change now.

New Changes, New Look

2009-07-10T22:48:00.001-04:00

The Sausage Factory has gotten a face lift.

More exciting things on the way.

I have been featured in the news out in ohio

2009-07-05T17:04:00.002-04:00

Well...

2009-07-05T01:48:00.003-04:00

So, I know it's been a month since I last posted anything, but once again, things have been really slow and boring and so nothing interesting to post on. There is still time to sign up for my writing courses if you are in Ohio. See a few posts bellow. Today Madonna started the 2nd leg of her Sticky and Sweet tour in Europe ONLY! This is sad as she had changed the set lit a tad and has added Holiday, Frozen/Open Your Heart and Dress You Up! My God! How much I have wanted to hear Open Your Heart and Dress You Up live! I guess I will have to settle for a really good bootleg of the video and audio. Hope she adds those numbers to a future tour.

I have been thinking about moving to Ohio. Enough with the strange looks! New York just isn't cutting it for me at the moment. I have good friends here but I hardly see them. And still, the type of life we all live here isn't the type of life I want. I really miss being independent and an adult like I was in the UK. Living on your own and fending for yourself was exciting. Having friends that were doing the same was also exciting. No one had to go home to their parent's house. I'm not saying that all of us here still live under our parents' rules, it's not that case, but still living with your family makes a big difference in how you live life. My thoughts are that if I am in Ohio, I am once again away from my toxic family and I can once again have friends that are making their life on their own. Jill is there and I love Jill and I love Jill's parents and they love me. The people she works with are great and we became good friends when I was there for a few days for my play. These are people I could maybe do things with.

Another idea is that there may be more job opportunities out in Ohio. I like adjuncting, but I can't make a living out of it. The job is not a secure one and you are living hand to mouth all the time. At the moment I am jobless because I wasn't hired for summer term. I don't know if I will be teaching in the Fall either. That will depend on a lot of factors. I really like the structure of the job, but it's not full time and despite all day dreams, I really need a full time job. Maybe Ohio has one to offer???

Recently I have been up very late at night. like 4 in the morning late. I think a lot at night. Mostly about what I want in life and what I don't want. Where I want to go and where I don't want to go. I get frustrated because a lot of things that I want for myself I can't have - at least not yet - and I am not sure how I can or will get them at this moment in time. If there is anything I hate worse, it is not knowing how to accomplish something. As you can imagine, this is then killing me!

The other night when I was up really late I was watching Grizzly Man. Has anyone ever seen this?? What the fuck? I'm sorry, but that man was fucking nuts. I'm sorry he is dead - no one should be eaten by a bear, but, come on people, there was something not quite right about this guy. If you haven't seen the docufilm, you really should. It's like a train wreck you can't keep your eyes off of.

At the moment I am watching a Rosanne marathon on TV Land Prime. I love Rosanne. Whenever I find that show on I watch it. I think it was a great show - it did get kind of fucked up, but in a good way.

I'll be posting a few pictures soon. Some fun things. One will be a stack up books that I like(d) to see if I can make a connection between why I like them and my own writing. This is not my idea. My friend Chris Killen is doing it to try and help him with his writing problems.... we should all try and it and post our lists in the comments section when I post mine.

I promise to try and post more. I'm really not good at this. I'm an old fashioned kind of guy. This blogging world is not for me...

Help Support This film

2009-06-10T01:06:00.004-04:00

My very good friend, Eliza, is making a short film. The script is great and I think the film will go very far. The actors aren't bad looking either :) But with all independant films, Eliza needs your support. Check out info on the film here and see how you can help. Cool Merchandise can be purchased here. Go on, buy something.

Where I have been

2009-06-10T00:31:00.002-04:00

Yes, I know it's been some time since I posted anything, but tonight I have added a few new things, so I hope that will make up for it. The truth of the matter is that I have not been up to much. Nothing terribly exciting going on. I've been playing Bejeweled Blitz on Facebook too much and I am selling lots of things on e-bay. My room looks like a warehouse! Boxes and packing material everywhere!

I haven't done much writing in a long time either. I've been back at it today. I hope to continue well into the night. We'll see about that. I'm so close to finishing the novel. I really want to reach that point. I am terrified of reviewing the finished manuscript and having to start the revision process. Some days I think I have lost sight of what I was attempting to write about and that the book is going to be a shambles. But I guess when you write a piece at length, that's what happens. Which is way revision is a very good thing. Though that doesn't take away the fear.

Speaking of "The Fear," I am in love with Lily Allen's new Album, "It's not me, it's you." I don't think I have mentioned it on here before, but I may have. Her first album is good as well, though you can really see the growth of the artist on the second. Go check it out. You won't be disappointed.

Upcoming events: I am scheduled to teach 5 writing courses at the Massillon Museum in July/ August. Check them out here. Just scroll till you find July 23rd - July 25th. If you are in the Massillon area, sigh up. We'll have a "gay ol' time."

In December I will be doing a reading as part of the "Poets & Writers" acclaimed reading series at Westchesther Community College/State University of New York. I have no idea what I am going to read. I will, of course, keep you posted. Those of you in the New York area should come out for that. It will be during the week in the late morning. Probably at 10am and then again at 11am.

Also, award wining film maker Jill Malusky Bacon wants to turn one of my short stories into a short film. I think her wish is to do this over the summer. This is a complex story, as it it told entirely through narrative and is rich with quirky situations and unforgettable characters. There is a lot of interweaving. If she can pull it off, I say we go for gold. Now only if I can get the story published...

As always, comments are appreciated. I keeps me motivated.

The Knitting Factory part 2

2009-06-10T00:15:00.006-04:00

As promised, here are some up close and personal images of the scarves I have knitted. Not all are featured as there are a few I gave as gifts that I never captured on digital. Enjoy these. More will come as I finish new pieces. Remember, I also knit to order, so if you are interested, commission me for something.

Thought/Quote of the Day/My life

2009-06-10T00:08:00.002-04:00

"While Brian strives to be the pink of perfection, secretly he's pulling stange men into coat closets and asking if he can smoke their cigis."

Mystery Novel and other stuff

2009-05-13T14:42:00.003-04:00

A while back I promised that I would start posting chapters from my mystery novel. However, the novel is unfinished and I really don't see it getting finished anytime soon. With this said, I feel as if I rather not disappoint people by leaving them hanging on, especially with a mystery story. If I ever get around to finishing it, or even if I do more work on it, I may consider posting the chapters. One of the main problems is that it has been so long since I last worked on it that a lot of the details of what happens have been forgotten. Re-piecing the mystery together is not an entirely easy feat.

If you would like to see the first chapter, an edited down version of it appears in this. Think about buying a copy for yourself. There are many benefits. One is that I am in it and you will have a very collectible piece of literature. Two is that both Chris Killen and Jenn Ashworth also have work in the collection. Both have recently published first novels in the UK and are very good mates of mine. Even better, both of their novels will have American releases in the very near future.

I am contemplating such things as on-line publishing. I am a very traditional kind of person and I really like print, but more and more, on-line lit mags etc, are responsible for the promotion and careers of new writers. I'm not sure if I have what it takes to keep up with this. It all seems fast and furious. What do you guys think? Have you any suggestions on places I should check out and maybe try and submit work to?

Another idea I have been playing around with is starting an entire Internet serial on my blog. People seem to like that. I don't think I would have a problem with it as it would be written for the purpose of appearing on-line here. Although, I could always just make my mystery novel my on-line serial.

Sigh. So many things to think about...

And the Winner is....

2009-05-09T12:02:00.002-04:00

Colin! He has won the great comment contest, but not by the fact that he out commented everyone, but only because he used a donkey to gain an edge. Your prize awaits you...

I am excited about this:

2009-05-09T12:00:00.000-04:00

http://jennashworth.blogspot.com/2009/05/top-banana.html

She's Coming

2009-05-07T15:49:00.002-04:00

And I've Got A Ticket To Ride!

Quote of the Day

2009-05-02T18:01:00.003-04:00

"A girl must always be prepared for an anal invasion."

Word of the Day

2009-04-27T15:25:00.003-04:00

I have come up with a new word - well term rather, but I am very pleased with myself so I am going to share it with the world and when everyone starts using it it can be traced back to me. So the new term is: COCK-MOP. The definition of Cock-mop (noun) is one who cleans a cock after it has finished doing its thing, usually by the use of ones mouth - lips, tongue, etc. Use in a sentence: Man, look at the cock-mop cleaning the cum and ass juice off of that hung top. COCK-MOP. Use it well.

Fuck

2009-04-24T22:08:00.001-04:00

Just Fuck. P.S. Contest over. Results soon.

I am having a shitty day so let's have a contest.

2009-04-08T20:42:00.003-04:00

Because life is crap and America just continues to rape its own people of their money, dreams and pride, I have decided to hold a contest in an attempt at smothering the anger that is seething inside of me. However, this contest may just fuel the flames.

Here is what you have to do to win a really cool surprise. You just have to make a comment. That's all. Just make a comment. If I like the comment, you win. If I don't like the comment, you don't win.

Contest will close when I decide it will close, so you better act fast. Multiple entries are OK.

Begin.

My Play was a hit! Here are some Pics. Video to follow soon, I hope.

2009-03-29T17:14:00.002-04:00

I'm Back

2009-03-28T14:47:00.000-04:00

Go Here: http://www.lesspermanent.com/?p=219

Live from Ohio

2009-03-25T10:11:00.002-04:00

Hey All,

I am currently in Ohio for the premier of my One-Act Play, "The Gilded Strings." Life in Ohio is both odd and oddly familiar. Much of it is like living in Upstate NY while the rest of it is like living in the Mid-West. How Strange.

Today I want to bring you two Quotes of the Day for your reading pleasure.

1. "I never lost Jesus."

2. "People should respect the erotica."

My Top 25

2009-03-18T19:52:00.003-04:00

I did this once on myspace and I thought it might be fun again to bring here. Have you ever looked at what your top 25 most played songs are in your itunes? I think it's great that itues has a track counter just for this reason alone. Some of mine will surprise you, hell, some of mine surprised me! Some will not... Here it is in reverse order:

25: Fighting Spirit - Madonna - 97 listens.
24: Let it will Be - Madonna - 97 listens.
23: Future Lovers - Madonna - 97 listens.
22: Self Control - Infernal - 97 listens. (This is my favorite Laura Brannigan song)

So far these four are at tie. I wonder which one will move up the ranks first?

21: Excuse My French - Kylie Minogue - 99 listens. (I don't even remember this being possible)

20: What You Waiting For : Gwen Stafani -100 listens.

Oooo. That was a close one? Will Kylie trump Gwen? Will Gwen move up the ranks?

19: Get Together - Madonna - 111 listens.

18: American Boy (ft. Kanye West) - Estelle - 122 listens. (A relatively new entry. Let's see how far it goes)

17: Super Pop - Madonna - 126 listens.

16: Isaac - Madonna - 131 listens.

15: Hung Up - Madonna - 131 listens. (I'm surprised this is not more)

14: Success - Dannii Minogue - 132 listens. (Kylie's sister. Yes, she has one)

13: Bubble Pop Electric - Gwen Stafani - 135 listens. (I know I listened to this track more times, but something happened to my itunes and the counter reset itself, so this would have been much higher on the list. Think it will ever regain its rightful place?)

12: Way Back into Love - Music and Lyrics Soundtrack -137 listens. (What? It's good!)

11: I Love New York - Madonna - 144 listens.

We have made it to that crucial moment: The Top 10. What surprises lie ahead?

10: Chasing Pavement - Adele - 146 listens. (This is a very new entry and look where it is already. It can only go up, up, up)

9: Voices - Madonna - 147 listens.

8: (Theme From) Valley of the Dolls - Dionne Warwick - 162 listens. (Close your mouths)

7: Jump - Madonna - 177 listens.

6: Pop Goes My Heart - Pop: Music and Lyrics Soundtrack - 180 listens. (This song is awesome for making you feel good when you are down)

And now we reach another pivotal moment. The Top 5!

5: Put the Needle On It - Dannii Minogue - 180 listens. (Will PoP steal this spot??)

4: Sorry - Madonna - 184 listens.

3: Gimme More - Britney Spears -191 listens (+ 22 more listens for the album version)

2: How High - Madonna - 194 listens.

And the number one most listened to track on my itunes is......

1: CANDY SHOP - Madonna - 261 times (+ 66 more listens to the album version)

Well, what can I say except... My Sugar Is Raw!

Now it's your turn. What's your Top 25???

Contest Winner

2009-03-13T23:08:00.003-04:00

Thank you to all who entered my contest. The winner of the grand prize which is a signed copy of one of my first out of print publications is DEE!!!!!!!!!!

Congratulations Dee!!! Come on down and claim your prize.

For all you losers, uh, I mean non winners, there will be another contest shortly for a chance to win an even better prize :)

*The Contest winner was decided by the ever consistent and reliable eanie meanie minie moe method.

Just for Fun

2009-03-03T22:10:00.002-05:00

The Adverts are here!!!

2009-02-25T01:01:00.002-05:00

Revised Contest

2009-02-21T13:42:00.002-05:00

Since this contest got off to a very slow start, as did my blog, I have decided to revise it. The Rules are even simpler now. Just become a follower of my blog - current followers are eligible too and those who entered the past version of this contest also eligible, but are encouraged to become followers. Any one to becomes a follower in the next two weeks will be entered into the contest to win a signed copy of the out-of-print Red Rover Lit and Art Journal featuring my first published short story "Exit." (Different edit featured previously on this blog). These are hard to come by and will one day be very collectible, so don't miss out!! Play now!!

The Big Read

2009-02-18T19:04:00.004-05:00

Brian has hit it BIG - The BIG Read that is. Once a year (or so?) The National Endowment for the Arts funds this Nation Wide program to get people to read. Each State/City picks a book off of a list and goes about with the task of holding varied events based on and around said book. Massillon, Ohio has decided their book would be Edith Wharton's "The Age of Innocence." In honor of this, I was asked to write a one act play inspired by the classic Gilded Age novel. Well, they loved it (whoever they are) and so The Massillon Museum in connection with the Washington High School Thespians & Canton Symphony Musicians and funded by The National Endowment for the Arts will be preforming my orginal One Act Play "The Gilded Strings" for one night only. The play will be preformed alongside 4 other orginal one acts selected to make up this Big Read Event. These are full on productions, so as you can imagine I am well chuffed.
I will be making the trip to the lovely state of Ohio. I hope some of you may too.
See you at the show!!Bxxx
INFO:
Thursday, March 26 One-Act Plays: Washington High School Thespians & Canton Symphony Musicians (The Big Read Event) 7:00 p.m. - Washington High School - Free/No Reservations - Funded by The National Endowment for the Arts

I'm Co-Blogging

2009-02-17T17:06:00.007-05:00

This is a quick note to let all my followers know that I am now Co-Blogging with my should have been wife Emma Mo-JO. We will be posting some of our famous guides to and other hilarious tidbits of life. First up is Our 1000th Cover Letter - This you won't want to miss, and Our Guide to Living a Soap Opera Life. Mosey on over to We Should Have Got Married and check it out (link in the right column or: http://weshouldhavegotmarried.blogspot.com/ ).

Bxxx

The Knitting Factory???

2009-02-15T11:34:00.006-05:00

Many of you may know, but most of you will not know that I am a Masturknitter. Yes, it's true. I knit, a lot. My most accomplished structure is the scarf. I really have no need for anything else i.e. caps, blankets, baby booties. I find knitting a way to channel some of my creative energy. This is good because I end up creating scarves that are really works of art. Sure I can knit a "traditional" scarf, but I can also go all out and blend multiple yarns, fabrics and materials into something truly amazing. (Look there's one around my neck. I promise to post some more pictures soon. )

However, I feel it is time to share my craft with the rest of you and the world. Would you like a scarf? Something fun, crazy or classic?? Then why not commission one from me?!!! The cost would depend on the design of course, what has to go into it and the time it would take to create. But just think, you'd have a scarf all of your very own hand crafted by me. Now how can you go wrong with that???

This was not an Exit

2009-02-08T22:47:00.009-05:00

Today I am going to give you a blast from the past. Many of you may know that my writing career started way back when. If you go and have a look at my publications list to the right, you will find two lists devoted to my publications, minus the newspaper colums I did. For my devoted fans who would like to have a glimpse of the pre-Alyson years, and for those who just want to remember, I am going to post below my first published short story, "EXIT." This story appeard in both Voyages 2003-2004, the Literary Journal of Creative Writing and Arts at Westchester Community College and Red Rover-Fall 2003, the Literary Journal of Creative Writing and Art at Fordham Univerity-Lincoln Center. The story had two different edits. The one featured bellow is the WCC version--which is more or less the story in its orginal form. The student who edited the story at Fordham didn't quite get the opening and closing I was going for and so changed them without consulting me. (This really pissed me off.) So without any futher ado, I give you "EXIT" -- I hope you like it.

EXIT

And it always intrigued me how it loomed out of nowhere and how anyone could possibly mistake it for anything except for exactly what it was. Every time I rounded that corner by Exit 25 on the Hutch there it was, catching my attention. I always thought it was more of a distraction, looking the way it did now, than it would be if it had kept its natural appearance. I'm almost positive it would have gone unnoticed if not for its apparent disguise.

Even though I'd seen it time and time again, there was something about this particular night that made it more absorbing than before. It was late, really late, sometime around two or three in the morning. It was one of those nights that are crisp—clean and cold, but not yet winter. I was driving back from a party at Purchase in my Maxima with my friend Barry Longdin, who was fast asleep or passed out in my passenger seat. Either one was fine with me. My other friend Chuck Scalary was in my back seat fucking this girl he met at the party and who he wanted to bring home with him. I tried keeping my eyes on the road instead of in the rearview mirror watching what was happening in the back. Lucky for me, or maybe not, it was also one of those nights when no one's on the road, giving me no need to check my mirror. I always preferred that type of night; it seemed more peaceful. I was quite accustomed to driving that late at night with all the partying my friends and I did. We usually took turns driving, depending on what party we're going to. Tonight was all me.

I was originally supposed to go up to Purchase last week for their Fall Ball, but the weather had been less than favorable. I decided not to chance it and stayed home instead. Because I had missed last week's party, I promised my friend Sam that I would go to the next party her college was throwing, which turned out to be tonight. I asked Barry if he wanted to come along with me. The idea of attending a party at Purchase really didn't sit well with him at first. Barry was totally opposed to the thought of going to a fag party, as he called it. Despite Barry's blatant homophobia, I didn't want to attend the party alone so I simply informed him that the party would be filled with plenty of straight girls for him to get with since they were around gay guys all the time and would surely welcome a stud like himself. That seemed to change his mind, though he was still slightly hesitant. I quickly added that the gay guys didn't like jocks and that's why they were at an art school, for good measure. Truthful or not, it sealed the deal. With Barry ready to party, I was able to drag Chuck along on the same premise, only I didn't have to try so hard on the convincing part. Chuck isn't gay, but the boy has a huge ego. I knew he wouldn't be able to stay away from a party where tons of gay guys would be ogling him, at least if he thought they would. I sometimes think Chuck would fuck just about anything on two legs, female or male, if he was horny enough and he believed they wanted him badly, which was always. As for myself, I don't mind the gays. They don't bother me and I don't bother them.

The party itself was okay. I was able to find my friend Sam among the swarm of dancing and drinking college kids. I introduced Sam to both Barry and Chuck and I could see how both guys were hot for her. Fortunately for Sam, she had a boyfriend in some Florida university I can never remember the name of. I left the boys to fend for themselves and hung out with Sam and her Purchase friends. I have to say they were all pretty cool. Some were a little weird. Okay a lot were weird. Well, compared to how normal Sam is anyway. I actually had a nice time at the party. I would have stayed a while longer but I found Barry totally wasted. I figured I should get Barry out of there before he wound up in a position he wouldn't be too happy with in the morning. I didn't get any objections about leaving from Chuck who had become permanently attached to the girl who was now in my back seat moaning from whatever Chuck was doing to her.

I turned my head to look at Barry. He had started a slow drool on himself. I was glad it wasn't on my car. The moaning noises from the girl Chuck picked up started to get louder. The sounds were accompanied by Chuck's aggressive grunting. I quickly turned up the radio that had been on an almost silent volume. A U2 song came across the air, the one that Cher opens all her concerts with. Don't ask me how I know that, I just do. As I listened to the song, I couldn't ever recall actually hearing Cher's version on the radio. I started to wonder if Cher actually ever recordered the song or if she only sang it in her concerts. Then I started to wonder if I was going crazy because I couldn't believe I was even thinking about it. Maybe I had spent too much time at that Purchase party or maybe I was just tired of listening to Chuck bang in the back. Whatever the case, I started paying close attention to the song's lyrics.

As I listened I realized that even though I'd heard the song many times before, I never knew what the lyrics actually said. I don't know exactly why, but the lyrics began to transfix me. It might have been the night or the fact that I was driving on the Hutch. The Hutch seems to sooth me; it's almost as if nothing bad can happen to me on the Hutch because it's the road home. I'm not sure why, but what I am sure of is that the lyrics made me see my life. I saw the relationships I've had with girls and what my friends and I do on the weekends and I saw how it is always the same. Barry is always drunk and Chuck is always pumping some girl he'll never see again and I'm always driving home alone because my relationships are built on weak ground because I'm looking for them in the wrong places and in the wrong people. In fact, my entire life has been one big search for something I haven't found because I have no idea what I've been looking for.

The song ended but my thoughts didn't. I don't know why this all came about now but it did and I realized I needed to do something about it. I didn't want to keep living my life searching for things and never finding them. I didn't want to keep lying to myself about liking what I'd been doing. I didn't like it. I didn't like any of it. I needed to change.

I looked up at the approaching road sign and notice that it was the exit I was supposed to take. Exit 12 on the Hutch. I got off the exit and rode around the ramp to the stoplight. I realized that if I turned left I'd be heading towards my ex-girlfriends house. We dated for a long time and the sex was awesome, but I couldn't deal with her heavy pot smoking anymore and I had to let her go. I know that if I had stayed with her our relationship would have really gotten fucked up. I sometimes felt that she loved her pot more than she ever loved me. The light changed and I made the right towards Barry's home. He lives in Pelham as does Chuck. The first stop I made was at Barry's house. I pulled into his driveway and stopped the car. I tried to wake him but it didn't work as well as I hoped. He stirred a bit but he was in no condition to get out of the car himself. I called to Chuck in the back and told him he had to help me dump Barry on his doorstep. Chuck bitched a little but I quickly reminded him that the sooner we did this the sooner he could screw the girl with him in more positions than my car allowed. It was no time before we had gotten Barry to his front door. I opened it with his key and we walked him into his living room and left him on the couch. Chuck was annoyed that I didn't just dump him outside but that I made him help me carry Barry into the house. I told Chuck to zip his fly because his limp dick was dangling out of it. He just smirked and grabbed it.

We got back in the car and I started for his home. A few minutes later I had dropped off Chuck and the girl and they continued their sexual adventurers all the way up the walk and into the house. I sat in the empty car for a moment before I turned around and headed back for the Hutch. I was alone now. My friends were gone and I didn't miss them at all. I was actually glad to be rid of them. I had been thinking about the change I needed and wondered how I would make it. As I turned to head back north I stopped the car and turned around. I knew that if I went south I would end up in New York City. The Hutch would end and I'd have no choice but to get on whatever road came next.

As I drove towards the end of the Hutch, I thought about how safe it made me feel. It was almost representative of my life. I felt safe and familiar with it and therefore never tried to change it. That wasn't the case anymore. I didn't know exactly where I was heading or where I would end up but I kept driving towards the end finally understanding why I was so intrigued by that looming object near Exit 25. It was like me, masquerading as something else just to fit in its environment. I had been doing the same all along. I didn't belong with Barry and Chuck, I wasn't at all like them, and I didn't belong with any of the girls I've dated. I didn't know where I did belong but I was going to find out.

I was far away from my home now, far from my life, from Exit 25 and that cell phone tower disguised as a pine tree.

© Brian Centrone 2003

Can I quote you on that?

2009-02-05T15:14:00.002-05:00

People who know me often say I am funny. I make little comments, quirky remarks or sarcastic quips. This is true. What's more true is that these one liners are particularly delightful and should not go unforgotten. So, new to the sausage factory is A Brian Quote of the Day. Each time I make a memorable funny, I will add it to the list on the right for you to enjoy and for me to remember.